Virtual Flaneurism

I woke up this morning to discover to the chagrin of my chin grin that ye old God of tellyvision Comcast had arbitrarily changed half of my channels to DIGITAL and they would no longer play on my antiquated three year old TV. Comcast generously informed me with a static image on each of the blocked channels that I could get them back, oh dilly willy oh oh, I just need to fork over a measly wad of cash every month to get one of their digital boxes.

DEAR COMCAST: I thought we had a deal: You send me an inflated bill for entertainment you do not yourself produce and I pay that bill. One of the caveats of this deal is that you actually send me this entertainment. I SHOULD NOT HAVE TO GIVE YOU MORE MONEY SO THAT YOUR CABLE ACTUALLY BRINGS TV THINGS. Also, you smell unseemly.

Fortunately, this did not affect my glorious TBS or Comedy Central. Had it, words and fists a plenty would've been had.

UNfortunately, however, this change murdered my precious Cartoon Network. With it goes my two favorite animated shows, Chowder and The Misadventures of Flapjack. DAMN YOU, COMCAST. Anyone who is anyone knows that the most crapulent of cartoons are played on the Cartoon Network. As well, anyone who is anyone knows that I have the maturity of a seven year old, which puts me just above the Nickelodeon crowd and just below fans of Naruto. Not having these cartoons will wither my soul like Candace Bergen at the Optomist International Annual Happiness Hullabaloo.

Anyway, here's an open-casket wake for these shows now gone forever from my television (because god knows I am not giving those bastards another penny):