Virtual Flaneurism

When the dad says, "You just turned three," he sounds like such an asshole.

THIS IS GENIUS.

Check out the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, which looks for each year's worst sentence in a range of genres. The winner:

"For the first month of Ricardo and Felicity's affair, they greeted one another at every stolen rendezvous with a kiss--a lengthy, ravenous kiss, Ricardo lapping and sucking at Felicity's mouth as if she were a giant cage-mounted water bottle and he were the world's thirstiest gerbil."

My favorite:

"As Holmes, who had a nose for danger, quietly fingered the bloody knife and eyed the various body parts strewn along the dark, deserted highway, he placed his ear to the ground and, with his heart in his throat, silently mouthed to his companion, “Arm yourself, Watson, there is an evil hand afoot ahead. "

Battle of the Third Grade Music Class Crap Instruments:

1. Justin Bieber's "Baby" on Recorder

2. Gaga's "Telephone" on Glockenspiel

UPDATE: 3. Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata" on CROCKENSPIEL.