Virtual Flaneurism

I have a feeling today is going to be one of those "immature" days.

This child must be some sort of clairvoyant -- how else could she so accurately summarize my sense of humor in one concise artistic sweep?

I am conflicted by the message this video sends: while I certainly love that McDonald's France is reaching out to gay teens, anyone who's anyone knows that gays do not eat fast food. Well, unless it is two in the morning - then we're pretty much face deep in a twenty piece McNugget shit show.

Wait 'til the end of this one.

UP! in Real Life: Balloonist Crosses the English Channel with Cluster of Helium-Filled Balloons

For the few seconds I thought this might be real, the world made sense.

*Forehead slap*

There are several problems with this picture, the least of which is the guacamole and cheese wedding cake he's serving.

This video of a mother otter teaching her whelp to swim is endearing with a hefty slice of awkward parenting, especially the repeated points when the mother other holds the kid's head under the water in a reenactment of every nerd's middle-school nightmare.

500th post! Either I'm a loser or...well...no, I'm just a loser. I hope any of you actually looking at my rambling are enjoying yourselves. I also hope that the people I steal this crap from aren't preparing to serve some mountain of litigation on my face. Time will tell.

This is a redemption of sorts: Jerry O'Connell and his wife Rebecca Romijn (who has made a marriage career out of shacking up with Has-Beens) reenact the subject of this post, though with slightly different results.

Videogame University: The New Class

Oh, I love these.

Scorsese's George Harrison doc to feature unreleased Beatles-era music

Few things on earth could be this mind-shatteringly awesome.

My favorite kids' song of all time - Willy Was a Whale by Justin Roberts

Puppies Around the World

Sarah Palin Poetry - Palin's natural rhythm and unparalleled knock for near rhyme begets these glorious snippets of real life Palin speeches that just happen to be poetry of Dr. Seuss caliber.

Contested primaries! So I'm glad to see
The contest in California's GOP.
But I support Carly! ... As she
Fights through a tough primary
Against a liberal member of the GOP!

Touching Video of the Day: Baby's First Sounds After a Cochlear Implant

Video blogger takes on artist Alison Blechdel's test for female presence in films. Films pass her test when:

1. There are two or more women in the film.

2. They speak to one another...

3. ...about something other than a man.

It is surprisingly hard to find a film that passes this test.

YES THANK YOU. I have spent two days listening to people say this show ended well. It only ended well if you are the kind of person who is pleased reading a five hundred page book that has pages 450-498 torn out and pages 459 and 500 are TERRIBLY CORNY DENOUEMENT.

Of course, one cannot truly blame the finale itself. The finale was the inevitable conclusion to a story with creators who never bothered to write a plot-line. It infuriates me to think about how much time I spent despite so many people saying, "They'll never tie this up, they don't know where they're going with it." True enough: they clearly had no clue. The lack of nuance in the "answer" given to the mysteries they did answer fully suggest that they were more focused on twists than ever delivering a coherent solution. LOST should be remembered not as the ground-breaking show it seemed to be, but the pinnacle in failed promises. The main draw of LOST was its eventual solution - the cathartic moment when all those puzzle pieces clicked into place. What we got instead was a weak, "we're all together again" drama-rama and a bunch of loose ends.

It should not be too much to expect a mystery to have a solution. Dramatic television, I have lost (no pun intended) my trust in you: fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...

Oh, oh, this video never ceases to be a delight.

An entire half of my childhood was spent cursing out that $!*%ing bastard Donkey Kong, Jr. Usually this would culminate in me tossing the controller at the television in a furious rage and shouting a confusing insult at DK Jr. about how he was a white trash palette swap of the McDonald's Grimace.

All of this anger applies equally to the ever infuriating Princess Peach, whose plastic Carol Brady hair and orange poo-shrooms continue to haunt my dreams.

Nobody get schmutz on the Boz.

GetDrunkNotFat

Great tool that rates every brand of liquor by fat to alcohol content %. Sadly, rubbing alcohol is not on the list.

Kung Fu Bear is somewhat uncoordinated.

Janelle Monae is even amazing performing LIVE!

Hot Guys Reading Books Tumblog

I might actually call this, "Average looking guys looking at Magazines and Textbooks and Shit".

Hate Mail to Scientists from Children Angry that Pluto is No Longer a Planet

From work:

From my prof:

Two Weeks - Grizzly Bear from Gabe Askew on Vimeo.

This is IN NO WAY FOR THE SQUEAMISH.

And arachnophobes should not beware, despite the title

Singing Audition Reel for Hustlers new "THIS AINT GLEE XXX" Video.

No nudity or anything related in the video - simply wannabe porn stars attempting to locate a key.

Mmm...offensive advertising is offensive.

I apologize: today may be very LOST heavy, given that the finale is coming in about ten hours.

Cats Summarize LOST:

Hilariously bitter divorcee begins a blog exploring the variety of ways he can put to use his ex-wife's wedding dress.

My Ex-Wife's Wedding Dress

A surprisingly unpleasant video compendium of LOST's numerous moments of shirtlessness.

Terry O'Quinn Man-boobies ahoy!

Work from Michael Rianda on Vimeo.

Mark: Tourettes River-Dancing his way across the globe since 2008.

Ohnoes Otter says Ohnoes!